and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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