I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
