Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
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