Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
