none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
