Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
