i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
