On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
