so that wasnt chicken after all
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
