i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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