is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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