Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
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We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
we're so committed to being not committed
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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