She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
