ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Duck Duck Cougar?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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