I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
