she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
