And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
