OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
