dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
