I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
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