My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
