So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
