Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
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I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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