my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
