My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
