Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
