Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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