Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You can't special order awesome
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
