I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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