Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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