Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
