ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
