I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
