come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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