I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
