The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
