i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize