...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
