Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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