if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
