You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
