I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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