Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
