That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
