that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
