No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
