I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
