Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
