The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
