Whod you bang
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
there is glitter all over my balls
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
