I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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