Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
