Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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