You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
