I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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