after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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