You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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