I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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