he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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