So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
